Being your authentic self as an awareness-based model of our times, whether man or woman, involves openness to this crossover phenomenon in which both genders act more similarly than ever before. Men can be more open to their emotional sensibilities and women can be more assertive and open to their urges for powerful leadership positions. This puts men on an equal footing when it comes to understanding the causes of motivation, and puts women on an equal footing when it comes to choosing the best assignments for those under their leadership.

At the biochemical level, male-oriented testosterone (actually, dihydrotestosterone – DHT) is, as we all know, associated with male aggression. In a study done in Zurich, Switzerland, researchers found that men do indeed experience a rise in DHT when feeling distrusting and angry, while women don’t. Interestingly, though, when either men or women become more trusting, their level of oxytocin increases. Dr. Paul Zac and his colleagues in Zurich, when they administered oxytocin to 29 out 178 volunteers by nasal spray, found that both men and women became more trusting in a money negotiation transaction than those who did not receive the spray.

So what do we learn from this? For one thing, it is more beneficial to engage a sense of trust rather that competiveness or belligerence if we’re looking for successful negotiations and sales transactions; approaching with antagonism will only trigger a release of DHT in men. Leading with trust, on the other hand, may release more oxytocin, and therefore a greater sense of comfort and cooperation, in both sexes. Conveying trustworthiness is the best approach for success – whether in sales, negotiations, or any other aspect of business.

Tips for Advancing Relationship Building:

  • Trust, an important component of success full business, is easier for women than men but essential for both if they are going to succeed.
  • Leading with a competitive edge just invites the other to adrenaline driven defensiveness. Leading with trust invites open-minded acceptance; the risk is worth taking.
  • Relationship Building grows with experience. Keep an open mind to differences in people.

To learn more, read the revised and updated Relationship Economics paperback edition with 40 percent new content, including an all-new chapter 10 on social media and business relationships (Wiley, Feb. 2011).

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