Has anyone ever asked you a question and when you tried to answer, the person’s eyes scanned the room looking for bigger fish to fry? Did you want to grab them and say, ‘‘PAY ATTENTION TO ME!’’ When engaging others, stay centered, present, and in the moment. Don’t start thinking about your to-do list, your day’s schedule, the proposal you have to create, or the 200 e-mails you have to respond to. Turn off the smart phone—it’s for your convenience, not others’—and stay focused on the interaction at hand.
Plant a Seed
If you tell me everything you know about a topic when we first meet, I’ll take the earful I’ve gotten and move on (read ‘‘I’ll be bored’’) and will have little interest in learning more from you. Conversely, if you tell me just enough to pique my curiosity, I’ll either ask for more or seek you out to learn more. Plant the seed and leave someone wanting more by making a brief statement and then being quiet. If someone is interested, he or she will often come back with, ‘‘What do you mean?’’ or ‘‘Tell me more about that!’’
Paint a Picasso!
You’ve heard the adage that a picture is worth a thousand words; well, what I want you to focus on is the picture’s texture and detailing and the feeling of the other person being transported into that picture! Don’t tell someone there is a beach—describe it as aqua crystal-clear water that gently caresses the white sandy shore! Language is incredibly powerful; fight the dumbing down of corporate America by others who are simply too lazy to look words up and expand their vocabulary. If they don’t understand a word, it’s their problem; your authentic and genuine voice can do this without coming across as an elitist.
How do you build, nurture, and capitalize on your relationships? Take our Free Relationship Signature Index assessment which will identify you in one of four quadrants with a high level profile and a set of recommendations.