David Nour 00:02
Hi everybody, David Nour. Want to welcome you back to another episode of our Intelligent Growth live stream series. We’re live on LinkedIn and Facebook and YouTube and Twitter and my business partner Jenn Cordz, and I host this every week, Tuesdays at noon, Eastern. So I hope you’ll mark your calendar and join us, where we really talk about growth at any, by the way, I don’t know of an organization that can cut its way to growth. And you hear a lot of organizations at the moment, particularly in tech sector cutting back. And some of that cut back is necessary, let’s be honest, in the pandemic era, they grew that grew aggressively, they grew with a whole bunch of tailwinds. And it is a mistake to equate COVID or pandemic growth with forever growth. So if you added a whole bunch of girth during the pandemic, it’s probably prudent to trim back. And I’m reminded of how, you know, several tech companies have announced layoffs.
And last I checked, I don’t think Apple has, because they were very prudent with their headcount and with their growth. And they’re intelligent, and they focus on an enormous amount of profitable growth. And that’s, that’s really the mindset that we’re trying to bring to global P&L leaders that, I don’t know of a business that doesn’t need net new growth, yet growth at any cost is short sighted growth needs to be proactively managed, just like you want to manage risk, just like you want to manage your talent agenda. So in our time together on with each of these episodes, what general I try to do is bring a different lens, a different perspective to this idea of enabling intelligent and profitable growth. And we’ve been in a series, I’m really excited to launch this next book, it’s Relationship Economics with this fabulous mint green cover. And obviously, very talented Lin Wilson did both the cover, as well as the back illustrations and throughout, as well as some of the things I’m going to show you in in the session today. Which is this, this topic has been near and dear to my heart.
And I continue to see really competent, really capable leaders struggle – struggle in this notion of being intentional about the relationships that choose to invest in. And the description of this session, as you read talked about, have you noticed how some people are consistently very good at identifying, building nurturing, sustaining value based relationships, and others who may have very similar set of challenges, or, you know, they meet some of the same people, but they check their challenge. They’re struggling in how to turn those everyday contacts into invaluable relationships. So I’ve been a student of this for some time. I’ve been thinking a lot about why is that I’ve been observing and researching, we’ve got over 10,000 data points, a great deal in the last several years, which I’ve captured in this book of individuals who do this? Well, I gotta tell you, it comes down to a single word that I’ve grown to really admire. When you see it, you notice it. When it’s considered consistent. You admire it, and you longed for it in your own work, in your own world, in your own relationship ecosystem.
And that’s one of discipline. A disciplined approach to understanding relationship dynamics, a discipline approach to understanding relationship ecosystems, and discipline approach, stop calling this a soft skill, because we’ve proven over the last two decades that it is, should be intentional, strategic and quantifiable. And in the discipline to not only gain the right skills and how to engage, how to influence how to create value. But really the knowledge from the application. The skills and probably most important for almost everyone, is changes in your behavior. And behavior changes are seldom a switch, they’re always a dial. So what behaviors do you need to dial up? And which ones should you dial back? Sociologists tell us, for example, that when we meet somebody else, we give a little day take, they judge, they give a little back. And it’s this natural exchange too much, too fast. And we’re like, whoa, whoa, whoa, back up, we just met. So the person really feels overbearing or overwhelming.
And layman’s term for this is that person is just too much. Or I can only handle so much of that person, because they’re just there may be a larger than the life personality, or they’re just over the top and how they kind of come across. Conversely, you meet others, and they’re distant, they’re very reserved, they don’t say much, they’re quiet. And that could also be misperceived as cold, distant, indifferent. So ideal if there’s this natural exchange, right? Not too much, not too little, give and take. And that’s when we feel, again, layman’s terms a connection, rapport. This perceived notion that this person doesn’t necessarily have an agenda, or ideally the agenda is mutually valuable, right. So in researching, and really focusing on individuals, and by extension teams, and organizations who do this exceptionally well, we’ve identified six unique phases of strategic relationships. And that’s really what I want to focus on in this session.
And I would encourage you to jump in with your questions with your comments. And we’ll also I’ll be in the Nour Forum, which is our private online community, and I’ll share links to not just this session, but I’ll share images and tidbits. And also with the launch of the book, this this month, if you preorder the book, you also get access to an intro course, that’s in the Forum. So you’re welcome to check it out at your own leisure just Nour Group, nourgroup.com/forum would be a really good place to go check out. There’s roughly 2500 like-minded business professionals there that are really passionate about business relationships, and real innovation and lasting change. So I hope you’ll continue this conversation and join us in the Nour Forum again, nourgroup.com/forum. So back to the six phases. Think of this as the overarching. In a previous episode, Jenn and I talked about top 10 reasons why most networking doesn’t work. So I want you to get away from the prevailing mindset that meeting others is very transactional.
And I really want you to think about the transformational nature of business relationships, the real material value add from business relationships, when you do get the book, this is, this is, starts kicks off Chapter Three of the book. And again, we’re going to focus on the six phases of strategic relationships. So let me also share my screen and, and we’ll talk more about it. This is what the image looks like, I’m gonna make it bigger. And then really focus on highlighting the key sections in this, in this concept in this ecosystem that I think were most relevant to you. So the best, the most impactful however you define success in turning everyday contacts into strategic relationships. I would submit you start in the left hand side of this image. And it’s really all about mapping. And it’s really important for me to preface my comments. My goal here isn’t and it’s never been, it will never be to teach others how to be more manipulative. That’s not it. This isn’t about using people. It’s really once you embrace the notion that relationships are strategic relationships are critical to your success, relationships are an investment.
You cannot invest in everybody blindly. So how do you become more intentional. That intentionality is really critical. And what I’m trying to bring to the conversation is really systems thinking. When it comes to this soft, nebulous thing that we all know is important to our careers to our success, whether you’re in sales or investor relations or leadership development or any industrial manufacturing. I genuinely can’t think of a certainly, a management or leadership role that doesn’t lend itself to building a nurturing relationships successfully. You want to get anything done, beyond your own kind of self improvement, you’re going to need relationships to help you get there. So if you start on the left hand side of the screen, mapping is all about line of sight. Mapping is all about and again, so you know, I ride motorcycles. You also have your drive. Most of us use some sort of a navigation tool, it connects the dots between where I am now and where I’m trying to go, my current state and my future state, my journey, I like to say from now to next.
So mapping your journey, here’s where I’m trying to go. It could be a role. I want to be a Vice President, I want to own a P&L, I want to, you know, join a board, I want to any any of those roles. So ideally, they’re they’re stair steps or some sort of an elevation in your career, in your job, in your role, in your realm, responsibilities, that could be one. And other one could be a personal preference. So I’m going to executive earlier, I said, I’ve got some challenges, opportunities at home, I actually want to work less, not not ready to retire, but I want to work less. So I can spend more time with family. And that could be a, a season in my life, or it could be ongoing. I’m talking to several executives who, during the pandemic realize that they like their spouses and significant others and their kids and sometimes their grandkids, and they want to spend more time with them, then going back to, you know, the traditional expectations of an operating role of 80 plus hour weeks, they don’t want to do that anymore.
So whatever that aspiration is, whatever that journey is, you have to start by mapping, not just what I’m going to accomplish, but how do I envision getting there. And I’m gonna go one step further. And we’ll talk, Jenn and I will talk much more about this next Tuesday, when we talk about strategic relationship planning. And I’m gonna give you a glimpse of that before we wrap up. But if this is the overarching kind of why, if this is the overarching kind of critical phases, you need to understand strategic relationship planning in the next session will tell you the how, and we’ll get very tactical in how do you become intentional, how do you really thrive in this ecosystem? But it starts with mapping. And mapping is fundamentally and I’ve always believed, specificity conveys credibility. So don’t tell me you want to be a vice president. Tell me why. Tell me what does that look like? Really dive deeper into? What do you envision that role becoming, and not just what’s in it for you, oh, I’ll get more money or I’m leading 10 people now, I’ll lead 500 people, then that’s great.
Tell me how the organization, how the team and subsequently organization will be better off with you in that position. Give me a vision. Give me again, a line of sight into that journey. And as we break it down the relationships that will be critical to your success. Most of my experiences point to the fact that that journey is seldom parachute, your on parachute from where I am today to right, that next place, it’s typically stair steps is typically a series of steps and counter steps. And by the way, it’s also experienced seldom a direct line. Right? Sometimes you have to take two steps back to move one step forward. Sometimes you have to go laterally in your career or across the organization to extend and expand your horizons and, and again, role and responsibilities. So if I have a line of sight, if I have really thought about what that journey, what that stair step may look like, then the opportunity becomes the middle.
The middle, I want you to think of now I’ve got a roadmap. Now I have a supposition. Now I have a hypothesis. And this is where thinking like a scientist thinking and scientific methods really helps. Because in the mapping phase, that’s all you really have is a hypothesis. All you really have is a series of assumptions, assertions, perceptions of here’s what I think that job will entail. Here’s what moving to that geography or industry will entail. Here’s what that role will encompass. And it’s just your perceptions. It’s hopefully intelligent. Hopefully, you know, well thought out, hopefully well researched. Here’s what I envisioned that role to encompass. Here’s why I think I would be really good at it. Here’s not only the skills, knowledge behaviors that I need, but here the relationships that I believe can help me get from my now to next, right. So that’s really what the mapping phase is all about.
And in the book, I talk a lot about the critical aspects of this and really thinking about why this, this, this mapping and this, the steps that are involved, kind of is important. With that roadmap with that journey mapped out, now you’re in the middle. And I want you to think of that really good way to think about the middle of this, the four phases right in the middle as your relationship development engine, you have to initially you’re relating, you have to be able to relate to others, I think one of the biggest turn offs, or I don’t know about you, but the LinkedIn messages are the the barrage of emails we all get, let me tell you what I can do for you. You don’t know anything about me, you don’t anything about my business, you’ve done little to no homework. It’s a cut and paste, automated system. And sure, could you get lucky and once in a while it kind of hits, maybe. But it’s completely impersonal. And you can’t relate to it’s all about you, you cannot relate to my challenges, my obstacles, kind of what I’m struggling with. So I coach a lot of people, you have to begin by relating, you have to begin by adding value.
And I’m a big believer that every interaction, every single interaction is it is an opportunity to either enhance your relationships, your reputation, your credibility, or you’re going to dilute it, you show up prepared, you show up having done your homework, wow, the person took the time, make the time to anticipate what I need, and think ahead of what I need and really work on showing up at their best. Conversely, you disheveled, haphazard, show up. And you’re not giving the other side, the other person, whether it’s a cup of coffee, or a Zoom meeting, the reason to believe that meeting was important enough for you to prepare, and do your homework and show up at your best. So every interaction, your promptness, your attention to details, your prep, and this is why I’m coaching people focus on fewer, but really build deeper, more meaningful relationships. Because if it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing to this level of detail, this level of granular granularity and attention to detail.
So you got to relate. And the reason that that engine that the four is in the middle, is there not sequential, unlike the strategic relationship plan that I’m going to show you, the roadmap that I’m going to show you in the next session, all four of those, as you can see by the arrows are highly interrelated. Because as I relate to others, as I engage others, as I’m trying to add value to others, it cannot be an event of you. Sure, this doesn’t happen to you, but have you gotten calls from people you haven’t heard from in years. And they suddenly reach out, and they want to catch up. And what they’re literally looking for is the next job. And most of us want to be kind, most of us want to be helpful. So we help them with some introductions, and they forget everybody who helped them get there. Two or three years from now, when they call you back, what do they want? Yeah, the next job.
And, and if you’ve ever been around an alcoholic, this, this comment or thing is going to resonate with you, we enable that behavior. Right, we’re kind, we help. And we kind of give without asking for anything in return. And the more of that that you do, the more you’re signaling that that behavior, those bad behaviors are okay. I’ve actually started calling out people on I’m sorry, Jim, is typically men, by the way, not not, not exclusively, but typically men. When was the last time you call to see how I’m doing? What was the last time you call to ask how my business is going? Or how my kids are doing or the fact that mom passed away a couple years from COVID? Oh, I’m so sorry. And you hear a whole bunch of excuses. So relating is not a standalone concept. You have to also sustain it. You have to again, full disclosure, we all get comfortable, in some ways, complacent in some ways. We don’t feel like we need to do that. And we get away from Um, these practices that we know work for us. So you cannot relate to people at a, you know, at an event, transactional incident, and then not talk to them for three years.
So I’ve made a list of my top 100 business relationships. And I’m calling them and I’m emailing them, and I’m telling them, you’re important in my life, in my work in my life, and their existing clients, their prospects, their colleagues, their right, different different diverse pockets in my life. And I’m gonna be more proactive in ensuring that we stay in touch. And not not to pester, I’m not trying to sell them anything, it’s, I want to make sure that we’re proactively staying in touch. And when I reach out, tell me about your priorities. Tell me what’s going well for you, tell me where you’re struggling, tell me how I can help. But what I’m doing in that process, and what I coach will do in that process is sustained those. We all get busy, we all get pulled in a lot of different directions, there are a lot of demands on all of us. But if that relationship is important to your success, prioritize them. And sustain your value creation, your value communication, capture, capturing that value add, right, which leads to nurturing. Nurturing, what is nurturing look like? Nurturing is inviting people you’re in the same town with to an event that they may not be aware of. Ideal if it’s an exclusive one. Ideal if it’s a highly valuable one. This CEO speaking at this event, you know, would you like to go as my guest? I’m going to this event, and I thought it’d be useful to you, would you like to join me?
One year, my wife and I, I think went to some 30, if not more black tie events, typically for charity, typically a fundraiser. And we didn’t just buy two tickets, I typically bought a table. And I would reach out to local relationships and say, we’re going to this, would you like to join us now it’s black tie. And it’s for this great cause. And it’s a cause we believe in and we’d like to join us and it was a fantastic opportunity to reconnect with relationships on their philanthropic causes and interest and connect good people to each other. But whether you do it philanthropically, or otherwise nurturing and sustaining that is critical. And you cannot, again, mathematically proven, an average individual has the bandwidth to manage about 100 to 150 relationships. Which ones? And how do you know? And if you can’t invest in everyone equally? How will you then prioritize which relationships you’re gonna invest in? So that nurturing and sustaining full disclosure takes a whole lot of time, and headspace and bandwidth and resources, and you cannot do this for everybody.
So do you have a list of your top 10, 20, 30, 50, 100 relationships that are critical to your success? That’s going to be imperative for you to relate to, to sustain, to nurture. Last, but not least, is also this idea of requesting. I’m still in that middle engine. Requesting is all about fundamentally and philosophically understanding that there’s three types of relationship builders, right. I’ve been talking about this for 20 years, Adam Grant has also talked about it. And again, I think you’ll be able to relate to the descriptions. First one is, and it really is a spectrum. On one end is me centric, it’s all about me. It’s my world, you’re living in it. The very other end is other people centric, it’s I am but a servant in their world. There are some people that are unequivocally givers. God bless Mother Teresa, they just to get something very euphoric from just giving. They love to give, they want to give all the time. They’re the office mom, they are the go to person and that department function business unit, they love to give that the challenge is they become very sheepish when they need something.
And they’ll struggle in silence or their struggle in isolation, or they won’t tell anybody that they need help, even though they’ve helped a whole lot of other people. And most of us can’t be just pure givers because we’ve got a job to do. And we’re held to account for performance and execution and results. The other end of the spectrum, so there’s first type is the giver. The other type is a taker. Have you ever met this type? The only time they call is when they want something? Hey, how’s that report coming? And the report that they need, forget that you’ve got 4,372 other things on your list of things you got to get done. How’s my report coming? Now, sometimes we’re stuck in a hierarchical role, and we’ve got to deliver that. But last time I checked people prioritize projects, initiatives, work, asks, tasks for people they know. And they like, and they trust and respect and right. So the minute so givers, takers, the most astute type of relationship investors. And relationship investors fundamentally understand that if I’ve done the first four, the other four in the central box of relating, sustaining, nurturing, at some point, I should be able to come request something of you.
And I do this with my relationships, if I’ve added value, if I’ve coached if I’ve given, if I’ve provided value to you, then I’m going to periodically and again, this is critical not to out where you’re welcome. But I’m going to periodically ask you to give some of your time, I’m going to ask you for an introduction, I’m going to ask you for I’m looking for someone who do you know, can I trouble you for? Can I ask for your help? Could you do me a favor. And that’s okay, if I’ve done the other things in the middle, set another way, it’s, it’s a heck of a lot easier to extend your hand than to have your hand out. If I’m adding value, if I’m creating material value for you, your team, your organization, I have earned their relationship currency that I’d like to exchange that I’d like to request something of you. The key is how you do that, again, I’ve learned over the years language is incredibly powerful. Going back to relating, if you know that Q1 is their busiest time of the year or Q4 is end of the year, and they’ve got to get a bunch of stuff done. I don’t want to add to anybody’s plate. I want to make sure that I’m constantly every interaction, would it be okay? Are you available? Could I trouble you for right?
So language is really powerful. Timing is really critical. And the right level of ask I get calls and emails, would you please introduce me to that CEO or that board member? And I’m so desperately trying to be nice and not say a beg your pardon? Are you really, you haven’t added any value to me. And again, I’m not trying to keep this as in tit for tat. But you haven’t added any value to my life or to my work or and you’re asking for access to one of my most valuable relationships? I don’t think so. And if we have an expression, I gotta give Jennifer Bridges longtime friend and owner of PD use to go a credit for this, this is Southern expression. If I’m not saying it, my face is showing it. I don’t think so. Because I’ve worked really hard to build and nurture and sustain this really valuable relationship that you want access to. Who are you. And most people aren’t going to willing to say that. So they just ignore that email or that call, or they come up with excuses.
Well, versus putting people on notice that you haven’t done enough of what’s in the middle of the other three, to then request that favor that really big favor. So the level of the request is also critical. So as I mentioned in the middle of the process, if you just joined us later, if you’re watching recording of this left hand side stick, we’re talking about six phases of really strategic unique phases of strategic relationship development. This is the kickoff to Chapter Three of my brand new book Relationship Economics, the third edition, mint green mint green is in, it’s a new color. Mint green color. Lin Wilson did the fabulous illustrations both on the cover as well as throughout the book. But the process starts with this idea of mapping this idea of being very intentional in your journey from now to next in the middle, four unique phases. They’re not sequential. They are very interrelated. As you can see by the arrows.
It begins with relating. You have to relate to others. You have to empathize and sympathize with the challenges they’re going through. You have to learn this, from Bill Hogan longtime friend, client. He always says assume good intent, good people with good intent. Busy, you’re not a priority, your value add isn’t or your perception of your value add isn’t high enough on their priority list on all that they’ve got going on. So you have to begin by relating, it cannot be a transaction, it cannot be an event, you have to also encompass sustaining that over some period of time. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. It is a marathon. Relationship building takes weeks and months and years. So it’s a marathon. Are you willing? Are you able to sustain that over some period of time, because most people will see right through, I’m here for a quick hit. I’m here for a transaction. I’m here for that one project. I’m here for that one deal. They’ll see right through that. Can you in that process, nurture it? So relating, sustaining, nurture. Think of those three first. How effectively am I relating to what they need, their challenges, their opportunities? How consistently am I sustaining that? Am I nurturing that with a unique value at each time, that nurturing also heavily depends on your own personal and professional growth.
If you’re not reading, you can intelligently recommend a really good book to me the next time we talk. If you’re not attending events, you can tell me that the local Harvard Business School Club of Atlanta has a fantastic leadership breakfast series that you should go to. If you’re not proactively engaged in, I’m using my local examples leadership, Atlanta, and you don’t attend those events. And you don’t nurture relationships with those classmates and alumni members, you have 00 value add when you call me to nurture that relationship. So relating sustaining, nurturing in the middle, critical. And when you do that, you can come to request the request favors, the favor economy, right? Request time, request resources. I’ve reached out to some of my best relationships, we’re launching this book would love to have you buy some bulk copies. And there’s no, right not just the ask, which is, again, the power of those lines in the middle.
As a token of my appreciation, I’m happy to deliver a keynote, I’m happy to put on a workshop, I’m happy to add value to you and your team. So requesting should be after you’ve done the others. Now, let me just touch up on the arrows. If you look at just what I just said, the example I just gave, I often try to connect one aspect of that phase with another. And again, we’ll talk a lot more about this next session when I talk about, you know, aligning relationships with the outcomes and the strategic relationship planning that we’ll talk about. But I try to connect intentionally those. So what does that look like? When you introduce, think about it a second to people in your network, to people that you believe would benefit from getting to know each other. You’re investing in, you are adding value, you nurturing to different relationships. This is the network effect, right? But I don’t like to, again, increasingly, we’re all busy, but I don’t like to just toss them over the wall.
At a minimum, I make sure I speak with each other. So John, wouldn’t be you know, based on our last conversation or what you try to do. I think you should meet Beth. And here’s why. Beth, would it be okay, I’ve got a really good friend, Greg client, really good partner, John, who’s trying to do this. And I think the problem you just solved? Would you be so kind to talk to him? There’s no financial incentive. There’s no think about a second, I don’t have a dog in this fight. But in an effort and you never know what comes out of you putting two competent, capable good people together. So, Beth, can I introduce you to John, I put them together. Brief Introduction. People are browsers, not readers, you don’t need a dissertation with LinkedIn and Google, there’s no place for any of us to hide. So brief introductions. Whenever possible, I try to invite both of them to coffee. Because now I hear how John positions himself and Beth’s questions and vice versa. How does Beth introduce her?
So even if I just have a front row seat to that conversation, it’s valuable to me. Increasingly, we’re all busy. We’re all pulling a lot of different directions and trying to coordinate three different people’s calendars. Always challenge. So a lot of times, I may invite both them to lunch, Hey, are you available? Are you available? Can I buy lunch? Can I, you know, invite and put two of you together? Look at what I’m doing. I’m not just sustaining and nurturing, and requesting. But I’m tying those lines together. And I’m present. And I’m in the moment. Now I know what you’re thinking, I don’t have time to do all that. And when I hear someone says they’re busy, you know what I hear. It’s not important enough. That relationship isn’t valuable enough. Because think about it, relationships that are critical to our success. We’ll invest in time, effort, capital resources. Others were kind of tossed over the wall, others, we send an email others, we send a text. So when I say focus on fewer, but create deeper, more real, more authentic, more longer term investments in your relationships, that’s what I’m talking about.
It’s the lines, is the connection between the middle of this engine that’s going to set you apart from everybody else that talks a great game. And nothing materializes from, yeah, we should do lunch, I’ve started to cringe to those comments, right? Yeah, we should connect. Okay, what’s good for you, you have a calendar on you. Because my calendar is always right here. We should touch base. Once good for you this week or next week. Specificity conveys credibility, and intentionality. Right. So the more I can reiterate how critical understanding prioritizing, again, I’ll put this image in the Nour Forum, my private online community, and I hope you’ll you’ll come and, you know, download it, print it, put it up, put it up on your cube and your home office and your work office.
But this should be the overarching kind of mindset that this isn’t an overnight anything. That this is critical to my success. And understanding these unique phases will set me apart. And my choice, it’s always a choice. My choice to embrace and really bring a consistent discipline to each of these phases will be critical. Now let’s talk about the fun part. And that is all the way to the right. And that’s by the way, the the ice cream on top of the cake with the little strawberry that everybody wants. How do I capitalize on these relationships. And I’ve got to tell you over the past 20 years, particularly the last three, I’ve seen a lot of people get very good at relationship creation. And they struggled to bridge that two relationship capitalization. Set another way, you know a lot of people, you have a lot of pre pandemic, you’d have a lot of coffee and meals during the pandemic, yet a lot of Aoom meetings and virtual happy hours and Scotch parties. And that’s fantastic.
And yet when you need help, when you need we have a role, right? Last time I checked, sales as measured by the revenues, you close and deliver and project managers got to deliver that project on time on budget. Investor Relations and right fundraising gotta raise capital, we got to develop that real estate property, whatever your end goals and results are. If you haven’t nurtured the relationships, you should have no expectations of being able to capitalize on them. So the right hand side is you hitting your target, hitting your goals, hitting the outcomes you’re after. And capitalizing on those relationships is also critical to every one of our respective successes.
Everybody wants to jump over there without the willingness. And I’m telling you after 20 years of studying, this is not the ability. That’s part of it. It’s the willingness to do the incredibly difficult work necessary to be disciplined in how you build relationships, to be consistent in how you engage, how you influence to add value in every interaction. To not just ask, but touch base and see how they’re doing and how you can help. So if you want to capitalize on relationships, which most business professionals I mean, unequivocally do regardless of your level of seniority or role or function or industry. How prepared are you to do the incredibly difficult work necessary? Through these six phases? Do you consistently map here’s my journey, here’s where I’m going? How I’m going to get there? Do you share that? Have you captured not just what I’m gonna do, but the who questions? What relationships do I need along the way? Are you relating to people that are critical to your success?
Are you sustaining that over some period of time? Are you nurturing with every interaction? Are you requesting enough of them, enough appropriate or the right level of requests? Could I trouble you for by the way? If someone says no, hey, can I trouble you for that? No, that should be a in your face, signal of you haven’t done enough to nurture that relationship. It’s not that person’s fault. You have to start by looking in the mirror, I haven’t done a good enough job of building the value proposition for this person to say yes, I haven’t done sufficient work and sufficient work on my branding, for them to see me in this role to consider me for that next vice president position to trust me with that P&L. Look in the mirror. And when you do this middle part, when you use four and middle really well, that’s when the right side becomes a natural extension. You still have to work at it, you still have to ask, you still have the position to ask. You got to make sure it’s not transactional. But capitalizing on the right hand side unequivocally is a byproduct of how well you understand how well you focus on how consistently you implement that engine in the middle.
Six unique phases in, of about, within the ecosystem of strategic relationships. So if this has been of interest in value to you, here’s the book, here’s the playbook, right? Get this is available on preorder your favorite retailer, I will share. There’s all kinds of great bonuses going on that will post the various channels, I would encourage you to come to the Nour Forum, again, nourgroup.com/forum. That’s our private online community, we’d love to have you there, I’ll post this image there that you can download. And again, I would encourage you to print it out, I encourage you to really think about it, do your own self assessment of how consistent are you in each of these phases. This is the overarching mindset if you get this next session on strategic relationship planning, and the roadmap is really going to make sense to you. So on that note, let me just show you very quickly.
Next week, Jenn Cordz and I, as part of the launch next, I’m so excited next Tuesday, this book officially launches. So we’ve got a great, great lineup of senior executives that I’m going to interview all day on various social channels. Look to LinkedIn for more details. You can certainly also register and join us. I’ll put that in the Forum. But next week, Jenn Cordz and I are going to talk about this idea of how to be again, intentional in aligning your relationship development efforts to the outcome. I’m going to talk about this idea of relationships, central goals, this idea of your pivotal contacts, your current relationship bank, this idea of your your relationship, currency deposits. And when you do that in a systematic way, we call that strategic relationship planning. So it’s a discipline process that I’ve perfected over the last 20 years. We’re building some tools and technologies around this. And by the way, if you noticed, the relationship bank is only that clear image in this for very specific reason.
It’s the one that you’re most known. The other ones are going to be fuzzy. The other ones are going to be less clear. The other ones are going to be a clay. You’re going to have to mold. But that one, you have enormous amount of control over that one. You have enormous amount of opportunity to enhance, elevate, it’s known. So we’ll talk a lot more about the next week. So as I mentioned, every Tuesday, noon Eastern, I hope you’ll join us for the Intelligent Growth live stream, where my partner Jenn Cordz and I talk a lot about how to be more intentional and intelligently hopefully, profitably growing, your business, growing personally, professionally, your team, your organization, your revenues. And we’re live every Tuesday noon Eastern. So I hope you’ll mark the calendar and join us.
As I mentioned, I’ll be in the Nour Forum right after this session off and share links to the recording of this. Downloads of it look for the RE3 launch group. That’s what a lot of this will be. And, as always happy to answer questions, comments you may have on behalf of my partner Jenn Cordz, thanks for those of you were able to join us live. And if you listen to the recording of this, come join us in the Nour Forum nourgroup.com/forum. Until next time, I’m David Nour, The Nour Group. Thanks for joining us. I look forward to seeing you next week. Tuesday, February 14 Valentine’s Day we’re launching this next book Relationship Economics Third Edition. I hope you’ll join us. Thanks everybody. All the best. Bye bye.
Photo by Dylan Gillis on Unsplash